thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb