it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
try lime green
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering