Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man