I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.