saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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