some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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