Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood