Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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