if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
