he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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