ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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