D3 body, D1 cock
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
