I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach