Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text