When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
