You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
