i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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