went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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