I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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