My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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