omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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