Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Randomize
