:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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