Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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