Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I puked a lego.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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