I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
