she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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