Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
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Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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