Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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