Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
