Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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