Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
