i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
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just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
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You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
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