I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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