My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
