i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize