UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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