Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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