I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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