it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.