she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
handjob tips. give me some.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same