i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
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I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
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Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.