dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
How naked do you want me to be?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
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