I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.