please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
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kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
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There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.