i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba