If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
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i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
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I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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