Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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