party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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