You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize