New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?