not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with