They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
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he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.