I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
whose parrot is this?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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