It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
