phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize