My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize