I'm lost and stupid without you.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize