looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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